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Genesis

July 19, 2020

Before Birth

From the moment my partner and I found out we were pregnant, a natural birth was the only way we could imagine welcoming our bundle of joy into the world. For me the epidural scared me to no end, and for my husband, he comes from a 3rd world country where surgery normally results in a 50/50 chance of death a C-section brought a lot of fear.

As the pregnancy progressed and we hit 36 weeks our baby was still in the breech position and due to some other complications a C-section was becoming the safest option to bring our baby into the world. We had already prepared for our birth through the hypnobirthing classes so it wasn't a far stretch when Margaret spoke to us about doing the hypnobirthing change of circumstances classes for a C-section.

This class was incredible! It helped my husband and I deal with our fears, it made us feel empowered, it made us feel like we were in control of our birth story, it taught us all the different things we could ask for, it showed us that we didn't have to have a cold sterile birth but an intimate birth. It taught us all the things we could do to make the birth as natural as possible and encouraged us that we could have the beautiful, clam birth we had so desperately wished for.

Day of birth

When the day of our birth came up we went in fully prepared and excited. I clung to my birth preferences determined that no-one would take away our beautiful calm birth (but aware that our preferences and things may need to be changed)

As we sat in the preparation room all gowned up I listened to my tracks (butterfly garden and affirmations) as I smelled my oils that I had placed on a towel, I found my mind and body transferred into a world of joy and Zen as I imagined welcoming my baby into the world. As they started to talk to me about the epidural and preparing me for it I could feel my heart start to race and a cold sweat came upon me, at this time I went straight into my bubble of comfort to calm myself and ran through my fear release track bringing me back into a calm state. As I prepared for the epidural I played the glove of endorphins track and running through my deep breathing and before I even knew it the epidural was in with basically no pain I couldn't believe how painless it had been.

As I gave my birth preferences to the obstetrician I was encouraged as she was happy to ensure as many of my preferences are respected and took time to explain preferences that could not be done (this was done before and during the surgery. No preference was changed without my acknowledgement and explanation first) the obstetrician then expressed that she could understand why I wanted these preferences and wanted to respect them. She even stated how she wished she had known about this type of birthing when she had her child as she could have welcomed her baby into the world in a calmer state.

As I entered the operating theatre I started playing my own relaxation music as my husband utilized our anchor touch, light touches, affirmations and holding up my towel with oils on it... I found myself in a deep state of calm yet I was totally aware of everything that was happening but it all sounded so far in the distance I must have been so deep in my own bubble because I ended up having the anaesthetist wake me with almost a panicked voice asking me if I was feeling ok I answered yes and questioned why he was asking he said I looked so out of it that he was scared he had given me too much and had put me to sleep I got a little giggle and explained I was in a self-hypnosis state then put myself back into my bubble. It felt like only seconds later (although it was over an hour) I was watching my beautiful baby girl enter the world in a totally beautiful and calm way and was in the recovery room breastfeeding her and taking in some of the most precious moments as we had our first interactions.

After birth

Coming off all the medications after surgery made me very unwell and the constant throwing up made me very sore. In this time I found the glove of endorphins and the bubble of comfort very helpful to keep my mind off everything that my body was going through and to keep me calm so I could focus on getting better.

Since my surgery I ensure I use the after birth track at a minimum once a day with my oils in my aroma diffuser this helps me keep centred and focused on healing and I have found that I really haven't had much pain in healing whilst I am still taking some medications I mainly only take Panadol which is impressive for me because I'm normally a sook with pain and tend to use medications as much as possible, but I really haven't felt the need to be using to much medication which is incredible. I have also been using the butterfly garden daily and while this walks you through your birth I change some words in my head to compensate with breastfeeding, I truly believe doing this has helped my daughter and I work as a team and catch onto breastfeeding so fast and almost pain free and effortlessly.

Hypnobirthing has been the most incredible experience in preparing for my birth all the way through to healing after my birth. It has helped both my partner and I feel in control of our birth story throughout every step.

 

#hypnobirthing #cesarean #caesarean #birth #endorphins #positivebirth #fearrelease

A Rural Birth Story

May 30, 2020

In 2006 as a student midwife, I attended the annual Homebirth conference in Geelong. The theme for that conference was “Bring birth back home”. At the time there were a lot of smaller country hospitals closing down their birthing services. Cost, availability of experienced staff etc. were the some of the reasons being cited for the rationale of these closures. As a result women need to travel longer distances to birth their babies if they chose a hospital birth. The model of maternity care is most likely have been limited to an obstetric trained GP in their local town and access to private home birth midwives would have been limited to availability and affordability. No such thing as an endorsed midwife with access to Medicare rebates back then.  Choices in Maternity models of care were limited, and not much has changed.

I invited my lovely friend Rhia and wife of my former “work-wife” Claire to write a guest blog about her experiences and (lack of) maternity choices in her childbearing journey, from the perspective of someone living in Rural Victoria. This was to be a personal journal and one to complement my other blog piece “Congratulations…. You’re going to have a baby”, discussing choices in maternity care. What I got was this amazing birth story and an interesting insight into rural maternity services. Through this journey, the need to provide more options was germinated. Rhia’s wife Claire has now given women more birth choices in country Victoria through Your Birth Midwifery. To paraphrase a line from a cool kids flick -  “See a need, Fill a need” (Robots).

Please enjoy the read….

Wow my first baby is six months old already this week. The time has absolutely flown by. I was warned it would, but as I’m learning, like with all things pregnancy and baby; you can hear all the warnings from all the people, but you don’t realise how true they are until you’re experiencing it first-hand.
One thing that staggers me all the more about this particular milestone sneaking up on me is that it was a year ago that I was by now well into my pregnancy. That’s even more flabbergasting than how old my son is! A year ago! Already?!
He was born spontaneously at 42 plus 3 weeks after a beautiful and uncomplicated pregnancy - No, nobody “let” me get that far; it was always a choice that was only ever mine to make. He wasn’t “late” - my body and my baby knew exactly what they needed to do to birth him safely and naturally. Whilst my labour went on for about 2 days solid, I was blessed to be able to spend most of it at home, in the bath and only transfer to hospital during transition, all because my beautiful wife and other mother of my child happens to be a midwife herself. Had I presented to a hospital any earlier in my labour, I am utterly convinced he would have been born by caesarean section because no medic would have been comfortable sitting on their hands for that long. As strong an advocate as I was for us, I couldn’t have coped with the intrusion into my headspace for the battles I would have faced.
In some ways I was lucky in my maternity care options but living in regional Victoria, I was far from able to explore the ones I most wanted.
I wanted a home birth, in water. I knew that’s what my baby and I would be best suited to. We weren’t financially stable enough in my early pregnancy to be able to secure a private midwife and by the time we were, I was so close to the end that the only private, home birthing midwife within 3 hours of us who would travel to us didn’t have capacity. She tried; bless her but she simply couldn’t fit us in.
I had what I considered to be the next best option with a place on the Midwifery Group Practice (MGP) at the local tertiary hospital 70KMs away, but even this had significant limitations. My primary midwife was wonderful and fully aligned to my values and needs. She understood the importance of informed, timely consent and also understood that I had done an awful lot of research (peer reviewed stuff, not Googling to back up my biases), so respected my decisions around my pregnancy. Not all the midwives demonstrated the same understanding and eventually, after being threatened with planned induction at 26 weeks by another, I opted to see only my primary midwife for the remainder.
Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was asked to two separate OBs appointments. One to demand a scan to ensure my baby wasn’t breach. Although I was lured there under false pretences, so this was sprung on me. I spent 40 minutes arguing why I wasn’t getting it done. Responding to coercive threats and admonishments until I finally made an excuse to leave and think about it. The second was with another OB who had grave concerns that I was going “post-dates” at 38 years of age with an un-scanned baby. I was offered induction, caesarean, CTG, scans and an assurance that if it was down to her she would have induced me at 37 weeks because “well… why wouldn’t we? Baby’s done by then”.
The reason and only reason I mention all this is because I’d anticipated these issues and this was why I’d wanted a home birth so desperately. I had a wonderful labour, I truly enjoyed it because I was well read and well prepared and had great support. I hadn’t wanted the stress of being pressured by risk aversive and controlling policies during my pregnancy. Unfortunately not being in the position to self-fund my maternity care meant this was the concession I had to make. Even an MGP program, where I had declined all OB input without medical indication didn’t protect me from the harassment that seems to be synonymous with publicly funded maternity care.
If we had the opportunity again, I think I would beg and borrow the funds for a home birth and pray that there’s a privately practicing midwife with some availability in the area. Or perhaps the local maternity services will start providing home birth as a safe and viable option to low risk women in their local community?

 Until then, I’m off to enjoy some toothy grins and dribbly kisses. Then I’ll cuddle the baby too!

 

As a bit of food for thought after reading this piece, I’m just going to add this little excerpt taken from The National Guidance on Collaborative Maternity Care 2019. “A woman decides who she involves in this decision-making process, be it a health professional, partner, doula, her extended family, friends or community (see Box 2.2), and should be free to consider their advice without being pressured, coerced, induced or forced into care that is not what she desires (McLean and Petersen 1996). Women have the right to decline care or advice if they choose, or to withdraw consent at any time. Therefore, if a woman declines care or advice based on the information provided, her choice must be respected (UNESCO 2005). Importantly, women should not be ‘abandoned’ because of their choice (FPA Health and Read 2006, Faunce 2008; NHMRC consultations 2009). Several Australian states and territories have schedules that include refusal of treatment certificates as part of their health legislation3 that may help in recording decisions avoiding confusion if care is transferred, and outlines health practitioners’ obligations and protections in this circumstance (FPA Health and Read 2006; see also Section 3.2.11). Making a choice or consenting should be an ongoing process of discussion between a woman and her health providers throughout her care. Having a coordinator of care to provide a consistent, clear point of contact is integral to this approach (NHMRC consultations 2009).”

 

Further Reading:

Birthing outside the system: the motivation behind the choice to freebirth or have a homebirth with risk factors in Australia – Research Article: Published April 2020 - https://bmcpregnancychildbirth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12884-020-02944-6

NHMRC (National Health and Medical Research Council) – Making the maternal health system better for all. https://www.nhmrc.gov.au/about-us/news-centre/making-maternal-health-system-better-all-women

Obstetric and gynaecology services in rural and remote communities in Australia – RANZCOG: https://ranzcog.edu.au/RANZCOG_SITE/media/RANZCOG-MEDIA/Women%27s%20Health/Statement%20and%20guidelines/Clinical-Obstetrics/O-G-services-in-remote-and-rural-communities-in-Australia-(C-Obs-34)-Review-July-2017.pdf?ext=.pdf

Rural Doctors Association of Australia Position Statement - https://www.rdaa.com.au/documents/item/591

The Distribution of Maternity Services across rural and remote Australia: Does it reflect population need? Research Article: Published February 2017 -  https://bmchealthservres.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12913-017-2084-8

Your Birth Midwifery – Endorsed Midwife Offering comprehensive at home care for your pregnancy journey and beyond (Benalla, Vic). https://www.facebook.com/YourBirthMidwifery/

Baby O

February 14, 2019

S & C's Birth Story

A part of me was prepared, the other part was in shock.

We spent weeks trying to keep him inside. But on the 15th of February we decided to bring him earth side. After a week of decreased fetal movements we decided an induction was our safest option.

Apart of me was disappointed. Because I had prepared a home birth. The house, My mind and my body was set at home. But i prepared myself this time around to have a back up but part of me was still disappointed. Baby O's health was more important then my want for a home birth. We were at day 5 of decreased fetal movement and even though the monitors and scans showed he was okay, it wasn’t worth the risk. Everyday he slowed down more. I had a lot of fluid surrounding him and we think that may have been the cause as to why I wasn’t feeling him move as strong or often. But again the risks of leaving it out weighed the benefits. 37.5 weeks was considered full term and we had already had steroid injections back at 32 weeks when I went into threatened pre-term labour.

Our pregnancy was never easy. Those who have followed my journey on my Instagram account  know of the little bumps we had along the way.

Threatened pre-term labour, Kidney dilation scares and then L's health concerns on top of pregnancy was hard. It was hard but every single bump was worth it. He is here and he is beyond perfect.

Baby O was brought earth side at 5.22 pm on the 15th of February 2019. Covered in vernix, 3220gms of pure perfection.

He was placed strait upon my chest. My heart grew two sizes. I LITERALLY felt my heart grow and almost burst with love… That word doesn't even cover the feeling. It was beyond love. I am a mother again, a mother to two healthy, beautiful boys. I’m a mother of two.

The night before I went in for another CTG monitoring. I had been doing these almost everyday at this point. His moments continued to decrease.

I had booked my induction for the 17th but we needed to continue to keep an eye on Baby O. I was so scared as at this point I was barley feeling anything at all. My mother instincts told me to get him out. Something didn’t feel right.

Everything seemed fine still a lot of fluid but baby was doing great. I couldn't feel the movements the machine was picking up. It was strange. I couldn’t be re assured.

The doctors agreed that we should not wait any longer. There were no beds in birthing at the stage so they suggested I go home, get my things ready and spend sometime with L and i would get a phone call if a bed became available over night but to come back the next morning for more monitoring.

I went home and got ready for our induction. I was so nervous yet excited. I never slept that night. Although the monitors showed he was okay. I couldn’t physically feel him to be reasured. I wanted my home birth I wanted a natural positive birth and I knew it wasn’t going to be that way anymore. Was I doing the right thing ? Or was I forcing a baby that wasn’t ready out ? I fought to keep him in for so long and now we are inducing him ? This poor baby. I beat myself up that entire night.

Morning finally came.

I drove myself down to the hospital while C stayed back with L until we knew exactly what time things were going to happen. Plans have changed 2826 times at this point so we didn’t want to get to excited and bring everything down to be sent home.

I arrived at the hospital at 9am and began monitoring again at 9.30 am. Everything seemed fine but they still wanted to induce him as soon as possible. I was asked to wait in the waiting room to find out if I was going to be induced that morning or booked to come back at another time that day.

I waited for just over an hour before my case load midwife came down to tell me it’s time. My heart sank. I knew I was going to be having him but it became so real.

I quickly jumped onto the phone to C and told him to take L to my mum’s and get here it was time.

At 11.30 my waters were broken. Wow what a lot of fluid there was. They were not wrong about that. I started to feel contractions strait away. They weren't painful they were more tightening than anything.

12.00pm I started the syntocinon drip. C had just arrived. I began to prep the room. Just because I was being induced did not mean I was completely letting go of my positive birth.

I started placing my birth affirmations around my room.

Putting out my essential oils. Clary sage to increase and strengthen contractions. Lavender mist to keep me calm, peppermint because it grounds me personally and black pepper for my back pain. And helichrysum to put on my perineum when crowning to avoid tearing.

I started getting my herbs out and ready to be used. I started my drinking a birth boost tea to help my body prepare and go into labour. And lined the rest of them up ready to go.

Within 30 mins contractions began. They were bearable and just like a period. C and I just talked and joked with my midwife and each other. I continued to drink my herbal teas and sniff my essential oils.

We decided to put on the TENS machine as it works best if you put it on before contractions truly begin.

An hour later and things began to pick up more. I continued to read my affirmations and walk around the room. Thankfully my CTG straps were wireless and I was able to move around. I went and had a shower went to the bathroom and felt good in myself. Breathe I kept reminding myself.

We decided to turn things up. It was 2.30pm and within 20 mins I was in active labour. The TENS machine annoyed me more than helped me as my labour was completely in the front, my back was painless. I ended up taking it off. Another 20 mins went by and I was having no break between contractions. 20 seconds and the next one began. C was amazing I was lent over the bed at this point and he continued to whisper my affirmations into my ear and rub oils into my back ( although it wasn’t hurting having his skin against mine helped more than you know)

I focused on him. Nothing else. I don’t remember anything but him. I zoned out into his existence and his voice. He was my safety and my calm. His presence and existence.

3.30pm I was getting into that panic mode. I focused on my breathing the best I could but began to loose it a bit. There was no break. I asked for the gas. I wanted to do it completely natural but I felt the need to take the edge off a bit. Hoping for a slight break to catch myself. I lost my calm for a little and couldn’t get it back. I cried because u thought I had “failed” because I used pain relief. How how wrong I was, isn’t failure. I’m still a goddess.

The gas done nothing but made me feel sick. And that took my focus off my breathing and C. I remember passing out for a moment. Or so it felt like I did. The gas made me panic. It made me shake. My lips went numb. It was horrible. I threw it down and told C to take it away. I was only 4 cms at this stage. The words “only” set me off. Only 4cms… I could be here for hours. I couldn’t do it for another 10 hours. 20 mins went by still no break between contractions….

And then I went into transition. Yet we didn’t know I was in it… I lost my calm completely and demanded an epidural. I wish someone had have told me no. told me I was transitioning because it ended up being a waste of time as it never worked in the end. I cried to C to take me home, I wanted home. Little did anyone actually know home meant him. He knew what i meant and grabbed me and reassured me he was there and i could do it. But i convinced myself that I couldn't do this. The anesthesiologist came in. My body was loose and limp and I felt as if I couldn’t move, something was happening. C helped me up and they began putting the epidural in, there wasn’t much break between my contractions and I struggled to keep still. It felt like hours of them trying to get it in and me trying to stay still. Bent over poor C, among and breathing in his face. But i was breathing him in. I needed him.

Half way through having the epidural put in I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I didn’t want to say anything because only 30 mins ago I was 4cms. It must be all in my head and I stayed quiet. ( other than moaning through my contractions) I had to literally clench my hips and butt cheeks to relieve the pressure.

My midwife caught on as did the anesthesiologist. They knew.

They lied my down once it was in. And bang my body started pushing. My midwife looked at me and said “are you pushing ” I just nodded. I couldn't stop. My body took over.

C was still just holding me, He never left my side not once. He sprayed me with my lavender and had cold face washers on my head all while repeating my affirmations. I managed to zone into him again. The epidural wasn’t in, in time. The button was never set up before I started pushing. Oh how I just wanted one dose of it… where was that God dam button. It was time.

I had just gone from 4cms to 10 in half an hour. It explains the fact there was no break between contractions.

My body just started to do its thing. It LITERALLY took over. I just surrendered. I trusted my body in this moment and I found my zone again. In C. The touch of him, the smell of him. Just him in general. I can’t quite explain it but somehow our love took over with my body and birthed our baby. It was an outer body experience, weren't on control i left my body. It was the most magical and powerful thing I have ever experienced. I’m glad that I was able to feel everything. It was empowering and beyond words. I never felt it with Leon due to the epidural but to be able to feel your body descend your baby down,your hips move out of the way it is an experience I can’t even begin to write about. I will never find the words. Every nerve in my body was dancing with joy. It wasn’t painful. It was empowering.

Cory put my oils on before pushing. I had forgotten about my perineum oil. But he is that amazing he remembered. though all my roaring and moaning he remembered. I swear by this oil. I had a second degree and many stitches with Leon. This time I had a tiny nick and two stitches.

I kept pushing, feeling him move down more and more. Feeling myself stretch and open. And then there he was. I remember feeling down there each push to check my 5th push I reached down feeling his fuzzy little head. One last push I told myself and I let our a roar it wasn’t a painful roar it was an empowered roar. I roared my baby out. Then I roared his shoulders out.

I did it. They quickly passed him up to me and as Cory explained it o reached down and I snatched him like a lioness.

Here he was, he was here. 10 mins of pushing a 5 hour labour he was here.

Baby O,  Covered in vernix and pure perfection. My son. My sweet, sweet little boy. I was speechless. The smell of vernix consumed me. Oh that sweet sweet smell us women crave. My breasts began to leak within seconds of touching him. They leak now thinking about that smell and the warmth of his slippery skin. I was still in my own trance. I felt my soul slowly re enter my body. I don’t know where I went in those moments but it was peace. Cory was incredible, I was incredible. We did it. Together.

With in minutes I birthed my placenta. No intervention, no unnecessary pocking and pushing by midwives. Naturally and with out effort my body birthed my placenta again it was empowering. I allowed and trusted my body to do its thing. My body just knew what it was doing. Just like my baby who 5 minutes after birth found my nipple on his own and latched. Again my heart exploded with love and oxytocin. The whole room was over flowing with oxytocin and love. Everyone was high on it. It was incredible.

This birth was empowering and life altering. I was so proud of myself. despite having a hospital birth and using pain relief during my labour. I still did it. I birthed like a god damn goddess just like every other women does. Be it vaginal or cesarean. Natural or with pain relief. You are a goddess.

We are incredible and our body’s are amazing.

Baby O entered the world on the 15th of February at 5.22pm. Our lives and hearts grew and exploded.

Our family is complete. Our lives are filled with love and joy.

We love you baby boy.

Atlas

Chay and Roberts birth story

This is a story of being prepared for whatever path your birth journey takes. She used the knowledge of her human birth rights to advocate for herself and while it wasn’t the path this mama would’ve liked, she was prepared for the journey she went on.

He was born on the 22/11 at 7pm, 4.046 kilos (8.8 pounds).

I had planned a home birth, however after some unexpected changes with my home birthing midwife I began to feel a little unsettled. At 41+2 I was getting increasingly stressed. Each day felt like a a week. I know it’s generally safe to go up to 42 weeks however as a first time mum struggling to understand the difference between my intuition and my fear and the pressure of being responsible for the life of another human being I ended up heading into the maternity ward at the hospital to have him monitored a few times. 3 times in one week for my anxious concerns and I lost my home birthing rights. They called an induction for the following morning due to him not reaching the criteria for a few things. My amniotic fluid was a little low, showing reduced variability on the CTG scan and he wasn’t showing lung movements in the ultrasound. So they asked me to come back and stay the night to be monitored and have the induction the following morning.

I went home gathered my things and tried to pull myself together enough to have a calm positive birthing experience regardless of the changes. I went back in later that afternoon and they put a catheter around my cervix to soften it overnight and I had my waters broken around 830-9am the following morning. They wanted to give me pitocin the synthetic oxytocin hormone to bring in the labour quicker but I wanted my body to go into labour as naturally as it could so we agreed to wait an hour. Thankfully my contractions started and grew in pain and length. At 11 am I was 3cm dilated! I was really enjoying the gradual build up. We had music playing and fairy lights hanging around the room and a big long string of bunting with positive affirmations I brought from home that we made at my blessing way, with all the beautiful women in my life. Me and my partner really enjoyed this time. We danced, and made jokes as I calmly breathed through each contraction surprised at how I could control the pain with my focused breath. Everything seemed to be going so well. By 3pm a different doctor came in and told me very abruptly that they were concerned that baby was stressed because he was showing reduced variability and wanted to do a stress test which required an internal examination. However when they went to check I was still only 3cm and they need 5cm to be able to do what they needed. They suggested the hormone again and to check progress at 5pm I decided to wait two more hours without it, by that time I was aware caesarean was on the cards if I didn’t show progress soon so I lost a lot of focus on the labour, and became quite emotional at the thought of submitting to a caesarean when I wanted to badly to have a natural birth. I started to process having an operation which was one of my biggest fears. It got to 5pm and I was still only 3cm. So we decided to go ahead with a cesarean.

I laboured for around 9 hours. Although I never made it to active labour (4cm) my contractions continued to increase in length and pain right up until the needle went into my spine. I was shaking with fear. But everyone in theatre reassured me. I felt more relaxed once most of my body was numb. (Something I also hated the idea of, I wanted to feel the pain of my baby coming earthside, the way nature intended, it was like a right of passage for me). By this time. Laying on the operating table, I realised I had been so preoccupied with the labour and then the operation that I hadn’t even thought about meeting my baby.. I finally started getting excited that I would hear his first cry soon and be cuddling him in my arms. Turns out he was posterior and a very big boy. As soon as he was placed on my chest nothing else in the whole world mattered. They stitched me up and sent me back upstairs to the ward to rest and snuggle. I still struggle with feeling like I submitted when I could have delivered him naturally if I had of felt strong enough not to listen to the doctors and trusted that my baby would be safe. But I was just so afraid of losing him that I did what I was told would get him into my arms safely. It’s a strange feeling having your baby cut out of you. I feel like I missed a step.

Although my birth story didn’t go to plan, I overcame one of my biggest fears and am so blessed with a healthy beautiful baby boy. I would chose his life over anything else over and over again.

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