S's and C's Birth Story
A part of me was prepared, the other part was in shock.
We spent weeks trying to keep him inside. But on the 15th of February we decided to bring him earth side. After a week of decreased fetal movements we decided an induction was our safest option.
Apart of me was disappointed. Because I had prepared a home birth. The house, My mind and my body was set at home. But i prepared myself this time around to have a back up but part of me was still disappointed. O's health was more important then my want for a home birth. We were at day 5 of decreased fetal movement and even though the monitors and scans showed he was okay, it wasn’t worth the risk. Everyday he slowed down more. I had a lot of fluid surrounding him and we think that may have been the cause as to why I wasn’t feeling him move as strong or often. But again the risks of leaving it out weighed the benefits. 37.5 weeks was considered full term and we had already had steroid injections back at 32 weeks when I went into threatened pre-term labour.
Our pregnancy was never easy. Those who have followed my journey on my Instagram account “Thepeacefulhomemaker ” know of the little bumps we had along the way.
Threatened pre term labour, Kidney dilation scares and then Ls health concerns on top of pregnancy was hard. It was hard but every single bump was worth it. He is here and he is beyond perfect.
Baby O was brought earth side at 5.22 pm on the 15th of February 2019. Covered in vernix, 3220gms of pure perfection.
He was placed strait upon my chest. My heart grew two sizes. I LITERALLY felt my heart grow and almost burst with love… That word doesn't even cover the feeling. It was beyond love. I am a mother again, a mother to two healthy, beautiful boys. I’m a mother of two.
The night before I went in for another CTG monitoring of baby O. I had been doing these almost everyday at this point. His movements continued to decrease.
I had booked my induction for the 17th but we needed to continue to keep an eye on baby O. I was so scared as at this point I was barley feeling anything at all. My mother instincts told me to get him out. Something didn’t feel right.
Everything seemed fine still a lot of fluid but Baby O was doing great. I couldn't feel the movements the machine was picking up. It was strange. I couldn’t be re assured.
The doctors agreed that we should not wait any longer. There were no beds in birthing at the stage so they suggested I go home, get my things ready and spend sometime with Leon and i would get a phone call if a bed became available over night but to come back the next morning for more monitoring.
I went home and got ready for our induction. I was so nervous yet excited. I never slept that night. Although the monitors showed he was okay. I couldn’t physically feel him to be reassured. I wanted my home birth I wanted a natural positive birth and I knew it wasn’t going to be that way anymore. Was I doing the right thing ? Or was I forcing a baby that wasn’t ready out ? I fought to keep him in for so long and now we are inducing him ? This poor baby. I beat myself up that entire night.
Morning finally came.
I drove myself down to the hospital while Cory stayed back with L until we knew exactly what time things were going to happen. Plans have changed 2826 times at this point so we didn’t want to get to excited and bring everything down to be sent home.
I arrived at the hospital at 9am and began monitoring again at 9.30 am. Everything seemed fine but they still wanted to induce him as soon as possible. I was asked to wait in the waiting room to find out if I was going to be induced that morning or booked to come back at another time that day.
I waited for just over an hour before my case load midwife came down to tell me it’s time. My heart sank. I knew I was going to be having him but it became so real.
I quickly jumped onto the phone to Cory and told him to take L to my mum’s and get here it was time.
At 11.30 my waters were broken. Wow what a lot of fluid there was. They were not wrong about that. I started to feel contractions strait away. They weren't painful they were more tightening than anything.
12.00pm I started the syntocinon drip. Cory had just arrived. I began to prep the room. Just because I was being induced did not mean I was completely letting go of my positive birth.
I started placing my birth affirmations around my room.
Putting out my essential oils. Clary sage to increase and strengthen contractions. Lavender mist to keep me calm, peppermint because it grounds me personally and black pepper for my back pain. And helichrysum to put on my perineum when crowning to avoid tearing.
I started getting my herbs out and ready to be used. I started my drinking a birth boost tea to help my body prepare and go into labour. And lined the rest of them up ready to go.
Within 30 mins contractions began. They were bearable and just like a period. Cory and I just talked and joked with my midwife and each other. I continued to drink my herbal teas and sniff my essential oils.
We decided to put on the TENS machine as it works best if you put it on before contractions truly begin.
An hour later and things began to pick up more. I continued to read my affirmations and walk around the room. Thankfully my CTG straps were wireless and I was able to move around. I went and had a shower went to the bathroom and felt good in myself. Breathe I kept reminding myself.
We decided to turn things up. It was 2.30pm and within 20 mins I was in active labour. The TENS machine annoyed me more than helped me as my labour was completely in the front, my back was painless. I ended up taking it off. Another 20 mins went by and I was having no break between contractions. 20 seconds and the next one began. Cory was amazing I was lent over the bed at this point and he continued to whisper my affirmations into my ear and rub oils into my back ( although it wasn’t hurting having his skin against mine helped more than you know)
I focused on him. Nothing else. I don’t remember anything but him. I zoned out into his existence and his voice. He was my safety and my calm. His presence and existence.
3.30pm I was getting into that panic mode. I focused on my breathing the best I could but began to loose it a bit. There was no break. I asked for the gas. I wanted to do it completely natural but I felt the need to take the edge off a bit. Hoping for a slight break to catch myself. I lost my calm for a little and couldn’t get it back. I cried because u thought I had “failed” because I used pain relief. How how wrong I was, isn’t failure. I’m still a goddess.
The gas done nothing but made me feel sick. And that took my focus off my breathing and Cory. I remember passing out for a moment. Or so it felt like I did. The gas made me panic. It made me shake. My lips went numb. It was horrible. I threw it down and told Cory to take it away. I was only 4 cms at this stage. The words “only” set me off. Only 4cms… I could be here for hours. I couldn’t do it for another 10 hours. 20 mins went by still no break between contractions….
And then I went into transition. Yet we didn’t know I was in it… I lost my calm completely and demanded an epidural. I wish someone had have told me no. told me I was transitioning because it ended up being a waste of time as it never worked in the end. I cried to Cory to take me home, I wanted home. Little did anyone actually know home meant him. He knew what it meant and grabbed me and reassured me he was there and i could do it. But i convinced myself that I couldn't do this. The anaethetist came in. My body was loose and limp and I felt as if I couldn’t move, something was happening. Cory helped me up and they began putting the epidural in, there wasn’t much break between my contractions and I struggled to keep still. It felt like hours of them trying to get it in and me trying to stay still. Bent over poor Cory, among and breathing in his face. But i was breathing him in. I needed him.
Half way through having the epidural put in I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I didn’t want to say anything because only 30 mins ago I was 4cms. It must be all in my head and I stayed quiet. ( other than moaning through my contractions) I had to literally clench my hips and butt cheeks to relieve the pressure.
My midwife caught on as did the anesthesiologist. They knew.
They lied my down once it was in. And bang my body started pushing. My midwife looked at me and said “are you pushing ” I just nodded. I couldn't stop. My body took over.
Cory was still just holding me, He never left my side not once. He sprayed me with my lavender and had cold face washers on my head all while repeating my affirmations. I managed to zone into him again. The epidural wasn’t in, in time. The button was never set up before I started pushing. Oh how I just wanted one dose of it… where was that God dam button. It was time.
I had just gone from 4cms to 10 in half an hour. It explains the fact there was no break between contractions.
My body just started to do its thing. It LITERALLY took over. I just surrendered. I trusted my body in this moment and I found my zone again. In Cory. The touch of him, the smell of him. Just him in general. I can’t quite explain it but somehow our love took over with my body and birthed our baby. It was an outer body experience, weren't on control i left my body. It was the most magical and powerful thing I have ever experienced. I’m glad that I was able to feel everything. It was empowering and beyond words. I never felt it with Leon due to the epidural but to be able to feel your body descend your baby down,your hips move out of the way it is an experience I can’t even begin to write about. I will never find the words. Every nerve in my body was dancing with joy. It wasn’t painful. It was empowering.
Cory put my oils on before pushing. I had forgotten about my perineum oil. But he is that amazing he remembered. though all my roaring and moaning he remembered. I swear by this oil. I had a second degree and many stitches with Leon. This time I had a tiny nick and two stitches.
I kept pushing, feeling him move down more and more. Feeling myself stretch and open. And then there he was. I remember feeling down there each push to check my 5th push I reached down feeling his fuzzy little head. One last push I told myself and I let our a roar it wasn’t a painful roar it was an empowered roar. I roared my baby out. Then I roared his shoulders out.
I did it. They quickly passed him up to me and as Cory explained it o reached down and I snatched him like a lioness.
Here he was, he was here. 10 mins of pushing a 5 hour labour he was here.
Baby O. Covered in vernix and pure perfection. My son. My sweet, sweet little boy. I was speechless. The smell of vernix consumed me. Oh that sweet sweet smell us women crave. My breasts began to leak within seconds of touching him. They leak now thinking about that smell and the warmth of his slippery skin. I was still in my own trance. I felt my soul slowly re enter my body. I don’t know where I went in those moments but it was peace. Cory was incredible, I was incredible. We did it. Together.
With in minutes I birthed my placenta. No intervention, no unnecessary pocking and pushing by midwives. Naturally and with out effort my body birthed my placenta again it was empowering. I allowed and trusted my body to do its thing. My body just knew what it was doing. Just like my baby who 5 minutes after birth found my nipple on his own and latched. Again my heart exploded with love and oxytocin. The whole room was over flowing with oxytocin and love. Everyone was high on it. It was incredible.
This birth was empowering and life altering. I was so proud of myself. despite having a hospital birth and using pain relief during my labour. I still did it. I birthed like a god damn goddess just like every other women does. Be it vaginal or cesarean. Natural or with pain relief. You are a goddess.
We are incredible and our body’s are amazing.
Baby O entered the world on the 15th of February at 5.22pm. Our lives and hearts grew and exploded.
Our family is complete. Our lives are filled with love and joy.
We love you baby boy.